I grew up hearing stories of my grandparents. We never huddled to discuss their exploits, and never considered that we were special in any way. But, at times, bits of their struggles, achievements, and pursuant successes would make their way into regular conversations. Usually, they would elicit awe from us grands and inspire a sense of pride as my dad recounted the tales.
We knew early on that we were not well off by any means, but we also knew we had more opportunities than others did. My grandparents gave us all a good start to life, through their dedication to their children’ success—all of whom were afforded the opportunity to pursue their education in Haiti or out of the country at a time when that was not the norm.
By the time I came along most of our family had traveled out of the country and resided in Germany, Mexico, France and the United States. How did a countryside Haitian young man with limited opportunities and resources himself manage to make this happen for his 6 children?
What characteristics distinguished him from others? Was he the benefactor of a great deal of luck, extravagant blessings, or are there character traits from his journey through life that perhaps lent to his results?
Here are the things that stood out to me the most from growing up with him, and hearing stories of his life before us.
He was a quiet man
The very first thing I remember about my grandfather is that he kept to himself and led a quiet life. He encouraged us to do the same in many ways. He was often sitting on our balcony watching us play, as he listened to the news on his battery-operated radio; his legs crossed and exuding this sense of peace and contentment in life. Greeting our neighbors as they walked past our home earned him a reputation of being a polite man. He was as easily contented sitting alone or with my grandmother, as he was smiling at the passerby’s.
He dreamt big
At the time my grandparents moved to our neighborhood their land was only the second to be sold on the sandy street. Their first home on this piece of land was a small wooden two-bedroom house, my dad recalls. It was just enough to keep a roof over their heads while they worked at building their forever home. This small dwelling was later replaced by the 2-story home I grew up in, that boasted a room for each of their 7 children (before losing their eldest). Their dream home built, he went on to purchase land elsewhere and help care for other relatives. It would seem that he often had his eye on a bigger goal: establishing a legacy.
He worked hard and smart
My grandfather saw the military as his pathway to a successful career path. His family could not afford higher learning, so he enlisted in the Haitian military as a young man and followed this career path, rising in ranks until his retirement. Perhaps there is something to be said for stability and choosing this for his family.
He was a man of few luxuries
While my grandparents had land and owned several homes, they were never loud about possessions. I remember clearly how simply they lived. Clean clothes, but no extravagance. They chose travel over upgrades, until they eventually settled in New York for retirement.
He wore a watch always…and kept time
Perhaps tied to his career in the service, but I cannot recall a time he was late by his own choice. Making him late for something important was also the easiest way to shake his calm. He rose to the rooster call and was ready for the day before the morning coffee was ready.
He was generous and kept quiet about it
My grandfather definitely was the first philanthropist I knew in life. He gave and gave and would never mention it. His generosity earned him the nickname “papa bon ke” around the neighborhood which means “good-hearted father”. He was a giver…and seemed to conveniently forget when he was owed.
He preferred time with his loved ones to anything else
Granted this was a time period when the influence of technology was dismal. I just recall my grandfather being present and living in the moment.
With all that said, don’t let me paint him as always serious. One of my fondest memories of his visits with us was just how much he laughed. He just had the biggest smile I’d ever seen on a grownup, and he would laugh to tears to our antics. It seemed us silly kids brought him great joy and love.
Did he discover the secret to success and a life well-lived? Are these the blueprint to happiness, I couldn’t say for he himself never framed it in this way. The times he were asked about his vibrance and joy, he often credited God for blessing him with “Nana” (that’s my grandmother, a house full of kids and now grandkids. Everything else was just extra and how well he cared for it all, a duty.